Well … back to my humble space … actually … I don’t know where to begin, I’ve just returned from college .. we were meeting the Dr concerning our training and graduation project.
The meeting went well … but, for sorrow, I don’t want to begin in something related to college during these days … I’ll try anyways. After that .. I hanged out with Mohamed Omar, one of the special persons I wanted to talk about.
Have you ever tried this act ?? to write about your friends .. I consider this a proof of fidelity .. there is many things that written words can reveal .. many things .. you can’t talk about freely face to face … but you can paint your feelings about them inside words.
From the deep of my heart … I want to say thousands of words … but my tongue can’t just take it … somehow … writing has more capacity.
I am now at the beginning of my post .. but I don’t know why I feel that it will be my master piece .. it’s just a feeling .. so let’s see what this post can come with …
I want, as a start, to put you in the same situation I want to write about, maybe it happened to you already, imagine, or in case you witnessed such scene remember, that you are walking with your friend, or more generally, the person you mostly care for and love, your father, mother, sister or anyone. While you are walking together … your friend received a phone call that carries bad news.
Now to the hard part .. what’s the most affecting thing that happens at this very moment .. is it that you will feel sorry for him/her, or that you will try to entertain him and make him forget … or that you will try to make him/her talk as much as possible to lighten things a little … mmm .. or will you two cry ?? What is that thing that makes you remember the moment for very long … … … maybe try to narrate something similar that happened to yourself .. a thing that will make things easy on this beloved person.
Do you know the difference between a person who is crying … and an eye who is crying ??? who affects you the most ??? there is no tears in crying eyes btw .. you just know that it’s crying … there is a hurting sign of struggle inside its scene. A crying person .. gives you the feeling that everything is over … it also carries a hurting sign of fear …
When you see a crying eye … you can have very different feelings from whilst you see a crying person. Let me paint this …
When dad is traveling abroad and he is saying goodbye to his little family … his little 5 years daughter … upon knowing that he is finished preparing to leave … and after hearing her mom saying “Go say bye bye to papa” … the young angel then feels an unknown feeling of being so scared … a feeling that pushes her heart to pour blood enough into her tiny veins to run .. run and run .. to papa’s room … and jump high in his wide shoulders .. she somehow feels, with her beautiful young mind, .. that he is going to disappear totally form her life ……. her small body now is in her dad’s hands … leaning her head besides his and kissing him and saying with so delicate a voice “Papa don’t go”. Papa now smiles and says “I’ll be back soon .. I promise” and looking to her with his eyes … a look that is sending a mix of the most lovely feelings God created in us; love, cries, responsibility, happiness that his girl is so grown up .. fear from future, sad that this is life, hope that he will make his family happy .. so hot breaths in the inside … he then gives her this last hug, his wide arms .. are around her .. she is totally into him, her tears pour on his shirt … after that he puts her, so delicately and elegantly on the ground .. but she still is seizing his legs .. she doesn’t want him to go away .. her cries in continuing to tear his heart … cruel life now obligates him to take his luggage and continue his way out of home … she is still hanging with his legs .. with her tiny hands .. seizing his cloth .. she then looks up and see papa gives mom a hug and says “take care everybody ..” , he then leans his legs and gets down to look at his daughter straight in the eyes .. and say “Look after mommy .. don’t let go of her” … she says nothing .. she just nods with her crying face. The man then .. gets out of the house saying .. ” I love you”. The young girl then .. cries a lot .. for her .. he really disappeared .. mom then carries her and tries to calm her down.
Now … … … where is the crying eye and the crying person ??? for me .. dad’s eyes are crying .. and the crying person .. is the little girl .. can you notice the difference now .. a grown person crying eyes is equally affectionate as a crying little child .. it carries the same point behind crying … the point that states surrender to life cruelty .. surrender to circumstances .. a thing that leaves you incapable of nothing but to just pour tears.
The difference is in that crying eyes don’t have but little tears maybe .. without voice or screams .. it’s silent tears, crying persons .. deliver screams and even hard feelings sometimes.
The same scene repeats every second on our dwelling called earth … but with different actors and maybe a little altered conditions … but the same prospect holds … each one of us needs to cry sometime .. and he/she has to cry. It’s beautiful and hurting at the same time to have someone beside you when you deliver tears and complaints from life.
I always wanted to be that somebody to that person … being someone’s sanity and friend is one of the best things to do in life, when you support someone with your feelings … this is uttermost comfort and happiness.
Now .. I want to write this phrase that describes friendship ..
True friend is the only person who, when you cry, gives you the feeling and meaning behind crying and push you to pour tears more and more. Tears entails the dynamic face of life, the spiritual end sought at each sunrise and sunset, all the opposites and odds of feelings. Your friend is the only person you wish be with you at each sunrise and sunset, the person who cries with you at sunset, and laughs with you at sunrise. Friendship then is actually life itself. Those who don’t have friends aren’t really alive.
What does this have to do with my getaway ??
Actually, after the disaster I made, when I screwed up a project delivery and made three of my best friends .. loose 30 marks each, I feel so owing them much than I can bear. Till now I can’t believe that they treat me the same, they even proved more .. they are now more feeling me than blaming me. For truth to be said .. I made a big mistake .. this is probably the biggest mistake of my life till now.
About crying .. I cried when I got out of college that day, I cried when I knew there grades .. and I cry everyday because of this black hole I made in our friendship. At the same time .. I am happy to be with them and listen to their complaints.
Mohamed Omar … got out with me today … I watched him very closely … he really didn’t seem to even remember that day. I thank him! … this post is for my friends .. I dedicate it also to the miserables who screwed up like me.
Mohamed Omar, Mahmoud Shahin, Mohamed Gamal …
I write a paragraph about each to show you how those people are so special …
Mohamed Omar …
Delicate .. “Zay Ennesma” as they say in Arabic. Mohamed is the person who everybody can feel comfortable to .. Very calm, doesn’t get angry at all, so grown up in his thinking and his approach to life. So passionate .. pure in the inside .. and above all he understands people very well.
Mahmoud …
I’ve got to admit this .. but Mahmoud is a person I learn about everyday .. a totally new thing. He is so informative … you can refer to him in many things in normal life … I lack numerous things compared to him … Mahmoud also is so responsible. He can remarkably control when to get angry and when to get clam. Mahmoud values friends very well..
Gimmy …
The first one who made me understand what geekry can do to one’s life. Mohamed is a master in writing style .. he reads very wide and he knows about many things .. different things from Mahmoud btw. Gimmy is so rational .. enthusiastic .. and very independent. One special thing about Gimmy also is his challenging way of thinking.
This is nothing to what could be described about them. I know I bothered them enough with this thing called “I am sorry about what happened” .. so this is the last thing. But, to be sure, no amnesty can be granted to one such as myself on such thing .. for I am always sorry God it be said everyday.
My getaway didn’t survive the bad memory .. so I wanted to talk about it.
My injury now is a little recovered. I can now narrate some funny things about the trip. When I returned after the accident … Mohamed AbdelSalam was surprisingly concerned … he said .. emergency .. emergency .. they put me in that chair .. Mohamed Omar kept convincing me to clean the wound with his perfume .. I agreed .. but only using a tissue .. not directly .. it hurt like hell then. Kimo took me to a pharmacy .. I thank them all for that.
One thing also … was our sitting beside the sea … it was so enjoying. Also .. me and Mohamed’s sitting alone talking in the balcony in our last night .. it was so special.
I thank you all for the wonderful trip.
Thanks for reading the insane post .. and btw .. it’s not my masterpiece .. somehow .. something is still missing in my writing style.
regards,
